Tag Archives: unwanted pregnancies

Beyond the Unborn

Since the Supreme Court decision dismantled Roe vs. Wade, much of our attention has centered on abortion. Perhaps the more important concern should be: Why do we have so many unwanted pregnancies in the first place?

We have more ways to prevent the conception of a child than ever before in history. Why are so many unwanted children conceived?

At some point in our recent history, conception became disconnected from family. Perhaps some of the disconnect began with the industrial revolution and the beginning separation between family and livelihood. Homes were located further from jobs and sometimes from older family members as well.

As the industrial revolution played out, suburbs grew and became havens for nuclear families. Fathers were gone all day as children separated according to age into larger and larger schools. Eventually, women looked for lives with meaning beyond increasingly lonely suburbs.

Much has been written about the exodus of women from the home, but men left first. In addition, the location of homes further and further from work stole valuable time from families.

Women, denied the part they had always played in the economic sphere on farms and in family businesses, began to leave the children in school and head for jobs in the city. Some suburbs emptied out during the day.

The reign of the nuclear family was followed by the rise of the single household dweller. More single folks set up their own households. Eventually, just as the nuclear family eclipsed the extended family, the single householder began to overtake the nuclear family.

Singles searched out other singles for the “family” no longer a part of their lives or not easily available. Children were conceived as a byproduct, not as part of a family’s ongoing. The responsibility for bringing life into the world was too often ignored by young people who didn’t take responsibility for the life that might be produced by their coming together.

A greater need for families does not ignore the fact that not all families are ideal. Some are, in fact, harmful. Women also were too often abused within a male-dominant culture. Nevertheless, nothing has replaced the need for families. Mothers, fathers, grandparents, and relatives are vital for nurturing. If humans are to survive, they need the caring provided only by families.

Conception separate from family bypasses both wisdom and responsibility. The best fix for abortion is the conception only of wanted children.

Safe Places

What if girls and young women at risk of unwanted pregnancies found safe places to gather and grow? What if such places offered guidance often missing in dysfunctional families? What if they provided an alternative to all that advertising suggesting that a woman’s only concern is attracting a male?

If those at risk could gather in safe places, they might discover a more mature vision of their purpose. They might find practical help—with their homework, with ideas for careers, with the motivation to set goals for their lives.

Older women could tell stories about finding their place in life and their need for maturity before allowing males into their lives. They could model motherhood as a responsible choice.

Working with young women before an unwanted pregnancy might bring together both sides on the abortion issue.