Patrick’s child is kidnaped by his former wife in my novel Searching for Home . The woman is now married to a non-U.S. citizen and flees with her husband and the child to her husband’s country. Patrick isn’t able to contact his son and doesn’t even know where he is.

Child custody cases were among the most difficult of issues in my job as a U.S. consular officer working with American citizens overseas. Custody problems occur when an American and a foreign spouse separate or divorce and cannot resolve the custody of their children.

Of course, custody disputes may arise between two American parents. However, different backgrounds in religion, law, and culture can increase confusion and bitterness. In the most tragic cases, one parent takes the child and flees to the home country. Depending on laws in the home country, the left behind parent may experience varying degrees of difficulty visiting the child or serving a custody order or sometimes even finding the child.

Children in such cases may be used simply as a means to hurt the other parent, as can happen in this country as well. However, when one or both parents are concerned about cultural values and eternal matters, reconciliation becomes more difficult.

In generations past and in many countries today, a marriage is the joining of two families. Few of us want a return to the days of arranged marriages. Our drift toward individualism and our obsession with self fulfilment, however, can obscure the need for deeper values of community and faith.