Tag Archives: parenthood

Choose Your Influence

An article recently highlighted young career couples and their decisions on having children. In many cases, if they decided to take the parenthood leap, they opted for one child only.

Taking time to raise a child may cut into a career. It may mean less money in retirement. It may mean less influence and less time to succeed.

Yet only a few people influence for generations: a few political and/or military leaders, certainly a few religious leaders, a few creative geniuses. Most of us will die and be forgotten in a short while, including our career accomplishments.

We should pick our influences carefully. Careers influence. So do children.

Parenthood should be a choice. All choices bring risks, and parents can be deeply disappointed in how a son or daughter turns out. Sometimes children die, leaving behind a different kind of heartache.

Still, even a baby can soften the views of those around them, can be an object of love that leads a parent and others toward better choices, to think long term. And children who live and become successful adults influence beyond the lives of their parents and usually their parents’ careers as well.

Be Fruitful and Multiply and Fill the Earth

 

So reads the book of Genesis. Some, pointing to resources strained by growing populations, would say we’ve already been fruitful enough. One woman apparently struck a chord when she said she’d considered and deliberately decided not to have children. Apparently, other women felt as though she’d helped them come out of the closet. They said her column liberated them to express their reasons for opting out of motherhood.

We line up on one side or the other, suggesting reasons for or against having children. It’s certainly possible to be fulfilled without motherhood—or fatherhood, for that matter.

Children the FutureThe thought struck me from out of nowhere, however, that as I grow older and understand that I’m going to die—in the next hour, the next year, thirty years from now, whenever, that I’m glad I’ve left children for the world. It has nothing to do with support or companionship in declining years. It has to do with my children as gift, with the hope that they will become useful citizens and give something to the world that makes it a better place.

We leave legacies. The legacies may or may not pan out as we wish. Career goals may be met, met partially, or not at all. The point is that, if we reach mature understanding, we live not just for ourselves, who will pass away in a short time, but to serve the greater good.

Motherhood is a career with legacies also. Perhaps our hope in raising children is that they will continue to serve this greater good when we no longer can. We want them to bring love, joy, peace, and other such fruit to a dysfunctional world. Surely we would welcome this kind of fruit and hope that it might fill the earth.