Tag Archives: nuclear family

Generations

Plough magazine devoted its Winter 2023 issue to the topic of “generations.” In the recent history of western nations, interaction between generations has become less important. Suburban growth led first to the nuclear family, then to an increase in single adults living away from any daily family connection.

As the family became less important, so did institutions that nurtured family, including religious gatherings and school support groups. Society became tethered to careers and the office. Social gatherings tended to coalesce around career.

The Covid pandemic isolated us further. Even our work togetherness deteriorated as workers carried out their duties through remote settings.

I grew up a long time ago in a community where neighbors met each other in unplanned social gatherings. We would sit out on our porch during the summer and neighbors would stop by and chat for a while. During the winter, they visited spontaneously in the evenings in our living room. I sat on the floor and listened to the adults tell jokes and share ideas.

Those same neighbors joined to support local school carnivals and other events to raise money for school projects. Churches sometimes hosted events for the entire neighborhood. Members of one church would support the events of neighboring churches.

We should not paint such an idyllic picture of such times that we forget the sins of the era, as well, like segregation and all white governments. Yet some of the movements that led to the dismantling of those systems were crafted in small groups of friends and in neighborhood settings.

Our current tendency to isolation can only increase unhealthy practices like drug use and hatred spewed over internet channels. And certainly, face to face meetings are not always ideal, as they can be overtaken by uncivil groups seeking to cause disruption.

What encourages civility and neighborliness? Perhaps those casual meetings between neighbors, as well as small groupings of the like-minded can begin to overcome the processes that are pulling us apart.

Worth a try, at least. Better to carry out the old saying: “It’s better to light a candle than curse the darkness.”

From Tribe to Nuclear Family to the Solitaires

The dominance of the nuclear family in the United States began about the time World War II ended. Many returning soldiers and sailors married and moved with their families into university housing to take advantage of the GI education bill.

Others moved to find jobs, leaving parents behind in small towns and inner city neighborhoods. Suburbs gained dominance, a haven of the nuclear family. Senior citizens were often absent from those first suburbs.

As baby boomers aged, older suburbs grayed as well. The children grew up and moved, some to different suburbs with townhouses and smaller lots. Who has time to mow a lawn these days? Others rediscovered the city.

We whittle down the nuclear family to the single going it alone or with a partner. Children? Perhaps, but children are expensive to raise, not to mention the time and energy they take.

Singles and those in loose partnerships have changed the landscape. The nuclear family, conqueror of the extended family, is now conquered by the solitaires.

Somewhere, we lost community, too. The solitaires may have their own groups, their friendships. They can change when they feel it necessary, not bind themselves, they say, to dead marriages or associations that have lost purpose.

Community had its drawbacks. Those who didn’t fit were too often ostracized. Some groups were dysfunctional, wounding their members.

Yet we lack adequate replacement for covenanted community, for dedicated care to meet physical and spiritual needs. A task for our age is the healing and rebuilding of community.