I worked at a U.S. consulate in a Middle Eastern country many years ago during a government shutdown over congressional budget disputes. It was hard to explain the shutdown to the people in that country, those we were trying to interest in a democratic form of government. They may have wondered why they should accept a kind of government that couldn’t even keep its government functioning.

The country is even more divided today. Yet, we persist in trying to overcome those with whom we disagree by following a “take no prisoner” kind of approach. If we don’t win, we’ll make it impossible for the winners to govern.

Democracy, however, requires that the losing side let the winning side govern, as it was elected to do. We don’t come up with ways to impede the government when we’re on the losing side. We write and speak our criticisms, but we don’t shut down government functions.

Americans have generally prided themselves on sportsmanship—the referee makes a call, and we expect the losing side to acquiesce. For the game to go on, the players must follow the rules, even accepting penalties when the referee so calls them.

It helps if we recognize that no human or human movement is without error. We may think those on the opposite side of an issue, with whom we strongly disagree, are wrong. If they win, however, we accept it and govern as “the loyal opposition,” with emphasis on loyal. We don’t act like children in a temper tantrum because they must share a toy.