My son, nieces, and a niece’s fiancé visited to celebrate my birthday this week.

It was a lovely few days, crowded with activities. We met airport shuttles (one at 1:30 a.m.), hiked hills in the island’s wooded preserves, and ate my favorite dessert, lemon icebox pie. (The family knows I prefer this over birthday cake.)

We shared during meals and discussed the directions we are taking and retold family legends. I met the fiancé for the first time and was delighted to discover he is an Arkansas boy who talks like me.

Another group I belonged to, formed several years ago to share our lives, provided my husband and me with wonderful friends. However, as members gradually died or moved away, the group chose not to meet any longer.

Indeed, aging’s natural process means most groups die. The exceptions are groups renewing themselves with the young.

Families and religious groups are built through this youth renewal. Renewal depends on birth, but also on adoption. In the case of families, the adoption can be of a child or of an in-law. Spiritual adoption may include the ones left out of other groups, the strangers and the needy.

Gone wrong, families and religions cause enormous harm. Done right, they renew us and give us meaning and purpose and strength for tough changes.

They are, I suspect, our ultimate hope.