In my senior year in college, I became engaged to be married. My friends in the women’s dorm celebrated by throwing me in the shower. The ritual was practiced every time one of us in the dorm became engaged.

We spent a lot of gab time, too, into the late hours or on weekends. We developed friendships and shared our hopes.

I remember those days when I think about women and men who miss some of that non-romantic, same sex friendship by pairing off into couples too early.

I didn’t grow up in a Christian tradition that called some into “vocations” as lifetime disciples of the church, practicing celibacy. Still, those ancient traditions might offer ideas for young and new adults.

Young women and men could be guided into adulthood within a community of their own sex for a few years, perhaps overseen by caring adults. A kind of community to practice discernment, if you will.

The calling would not be permanent for most, though a few might remain in the community. It could provide a place for those singles who choose less than lucrative careers to serve others, who want encouragement to lead a life less devoted to consumerism. It could also offer a refuge for those attempting to find their place after a divorce or other loss.

The trail from childhood to adulthood winds longer in our developed societies. Perhaps an intermediate community after the family could aid some to better negotiate the transition.